Hi.

It has been awfully months since the last time i posted something here. There is fucking lots of thing im going through, first, TRIAAAALLALALALAL just what the actual goodness it is literally days to go i am not ready for fucking sure. Second, i am happy and carefreely living schoollife with my amazing friends. I am really grateful to have the crazy side of them by my side. I mean the past 6 months has been so great and im being the real me whenever im with them i dont have to hide anymore. That is literally my powerful achievement. Besides i have changed a little perception of me about society because of them. 
Lately i have been the quietest of me whenever im at home. Dont get me wrong, not that i say i dont love my family. i love them to infinity but things just dont go perfectly fine this time. i set my hopes too high. again. its devastating when you have to wait for everything. im just sick of waiting and just stay silent everytime my heart breaks. i feel the need to stood for myself but i dont even have the effort to even open my mouth it all just a waste of time like why the fuck would i? nobody is listening im not even exist ayee. Its hard to live life like this. To live with people you feel like you dont fit in together with your quiet side its just pure boring life. You will find me laughing my ass off with my friends at school but you will rarely found me like that around my family. I am the blacksheep. I knew it from the starting. It all started when the first ignored my comments, didnt respond to my questions, didnt respond to all my wishes. With all their mountful hopes burdens my shoulder expecting me to gets straight As for pmr do you even think it will works out? They are not providing me the right accomadation. It is not complete. I know they sure gonna tell me "You can always ask" and shits but they dont know how hard is it for me to handle rejection. They fucking rejects my every wishes.