You are lucky.

Hello everyone, it's been a while since the last time i updated. This time i really need to let it all out. So warning, this post is just me being annoying and procastinating about my unfair life.
Idk why. I was born in an average family im nor rich nor poor. So for all these 15 years, ive been taught if you want something you will bave to wait or you must work for it. Not that im complaining. It is a good thing to teach your now rebel daughter about life but it has been always me ended up not getting whatever i ever wanted. I will get it if i went to rant and begged for it at my grandparents. None of them care what i want. None of them ever dare to fulfill my needs. I feel so violated and unloved. After all these years i cried everytime my wish didnt come true. To be fucking honest i think i am the only child who've been treated unfairly since when? The world may never know. After all these years of me just pretending to not offended by things they'd done and stay strong everytime it hits me i am starting to giving up. Giving up on? EVERYTHING. Since my grandmother died last year everythings has changed and got worst day by day. I wake up everyday pretending to not gives a shit on what everyone had say to me. Most nights i cried thinking of how unfair my life has been for these past years. Most of the times in my life consists of me shutting everyone up. I hide all these things that's CLEARLY bothers every second of my life because i know there is no one would like to hear me let it all out. Because they cant find any perfect reason behind my silenceness, that this girl they are staring at cries herself everynight to sleep.
You are lucky i am smart enough to think that suicide isnt the answer to all of my problems. But one day if you found scars on my arms, dont be so shock and cry. You are the reasons behind all these.

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